Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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