we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
