i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
