Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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