Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
