I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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