just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
