i think my tv is drunk
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
