I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
