Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
