I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
