based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
