i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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