i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up�
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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