fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Randomize
