He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
