Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
