So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
