the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
