Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
