I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
