Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
