yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
