I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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