Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
