Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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