Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
