she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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