i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
