I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
