Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
