Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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