I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
