I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
