i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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