Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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