he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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