4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Randomize
