Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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