So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
As shirtless as possible
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I got inside last night via doggy door
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
