It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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