just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
