haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
