I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Text me some of your sweat
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
