found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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