i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Randomize
