it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
