i jhust puked up my retainher.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
