i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
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