I'm laying in your front yard are you home
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
