i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Randomize
