oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
